Bark and Byte: Protecting Kids on Social Media

The sound was in the distance, closer than a train and bigger than a breadbox, the yelping of hounds rising in the night, and then the echo of them. I stirred, one eye open, disoriented by time passing unheeded through the darkness. Then a bark grew louder, and I wondered if the warning that it carried was intended for me.

Citing safety and several curse words, I rose to the occasion and made my rounds, rechecking the bedtime checklist of locking doors and looking out windows. Thankfully, whatever specter or wayward squirrel had haunted the shadows of suburbia, the bark had worked, alerting me to action and perhaps protecting my family from it.

I let the dog in and went back to bed.

And then there are the other warnings, those that live beyond my peripheral, thriving unchecked in the hands and hearts of my children, growing bolder by the click. Social media is an ironic term, capable of causing loneliness for those seeking community, especially kids, digital native and real life naive. Too often, the path to virtual fulfillment can be littered with detours, wrong turns and child grooming signs.

Fortunately there’s a Bark for that, too.

The Bark app helps keep children safe online AND in real life (see, IRL). Using artificial intelligence (science!) Bark monitors 25 social media platforms, texting, and email accounts for potential issues (like cyberbullying, sexting, potential drug use, acts of violence, profanity, online predators, thoughts of suicide and depression, etc.) and then alerts parents via text and email when an issue is detected. In other words, if there is a potential threat to your kids, Bark barks.

Why, you may wonder, did I imply that I may be otherwise unaware of the possible issues facing my kids online? Because—and you may want to sit down for this—I don’t make a habit of checking their devices. That is, I reserve the right, something they begrudgingly accepted as a condition of owning said device, but the act is seldom put to practice.

My wife and I are trying to raise our kids to make good decisions without our having to sit on their respective shoulders (dibs on the halo!). We believe that digital citizenship for kids isn’t going to manifest under the heavy fist of fear and authoritarian rule. Rather, it’s going to bloom from trust and conversation. And sometimes fear and authoritarian rule, but we prefer to avoid it.

That said, I know there are risks and consequences for kids on social media, and while the youngest (12) hasn’t really scratched the surface on anything other than gaming videos on YouTube, the oldest (15) has suddenly become more involved, which is why I found myself searching for “apps for parents to monitor social media.”

What I like about the Bark parental control is that its offers kids a good share of autonomy. Bark does not provide parents unfettered access to every message and account. It only sends alerts should serious issues arise. Basically, children can send hundreds of texts or assorted social whatnot each day knowing that parents aren’t constantly browsing their virtual diary. To that point, Bark internet safety feels nothing like the helicopter parenting we want to avoid, but more of an automated safety net tethered on trust. It isn’t meant to replace thoughtful conversation, but to provide a useful tool should danger be afoot.

It was time to talk with the teen.

“You want to do what?” he asked, both of us knowing full well that he had heard me.

“I want to monitor your social media, texts and emails for your safety—not content per se—I’m not trying to enforce rules so much as make sure you are safe. It’s a parent’s responsibility to protect their kids, and this is the digital way to do that. It’s not to spy on you or your friends.”

“Even if we use bad words?”

“Even then. I trust you too much to take away your privacy, and I love you too much to leave you unprotected.”

“Unprotected from what?”

This:

Also this, from Bark:

“Bark has detected: 3,662 grooming occurrences, 493,001 cyberbullying incidents, 152,102 mental health issues, 336,136 sexual content occurrences, 53,322 self-harm/suicide incidents, and 566,084 drug/alcohol-related conversations.”

“Oh,” he said.

Then we downloaded Bark, easily walked through the simple setup, and he entered his consent allowing the app to monitor his social media platforms, emails and texts.

I must admit, I was alarmed when I immediately received an alert that he had several emails about weapons, but it turns out they were from political and civil rights groups working with teens on gun issues, and we’re all fine with that.

We played around for a bit, both of us seeing how it worked, what was shared and why. The trust was mutual, and the interest genuine. He gave his blessing. It felt like a sigh of relief.

Eventually he faded down the hallway, his phone in hand and fingers flexing. I took the dog outside to toss the ball around beneath the summer sun that was finally setting, and I waited for the barking.

I partnered with Bark and was compensated for this piece. All opinions are mine and those of my family.